The Stress With the Dress: Why I Love My Mother
My stepdad, Richard, passed away January 2nd after being ill in the hospital for a month. I dropped everything and hopped on a flight to California where my mother lives to be with her. Despite having lost her husband, my wonderful mother suggested that we go try on wedding dresses while I’m in town for the week.
Our first trip out to David’s Bridal was unsuccessful, or so we thought. I felt huge in the poufy ball gowns I had dreamed of wearing and was absolutely disheartened. I tried on a few other gowns to humor my mother and the associate. One caught my eye, but I was still holding on to the big ball gown image in my head, so I hung it back up. The week passed and my mom kept telling me that we’d find a dress, not to worry, and I looked beautiful in all of them. So Saturday rolled around and I humored her once more. Off to an expensive boutique to try on different gowns.
The first one I tried on was gorgeous. The lacework was beautiful and I loved the shape even though it wasn’t a big ball gown. My mom adored it. I decided to try on some others just to make sure, and then I noticed the price tag… well over a thousand dollars. I knew I couldn’t afford this dress, so I hung it up and put on the next dozen dresses. Each dress was compared to the first one. “Try it on again”, they said. So I did, and my heart broke.
I loved this dress but I just couldn’t afford it. So, I walked out and lied, saying I didn’t like the fabric. The associate took the dress away and I went back in to try on something else. When I came out, another bride had on the dress. My mom told me that she tried it on after me and loved it, so she was getting it. I went back in the dressing room and cried. There was no dress for me, I thought. No dress would fit both my body and my budget. Finally, I got dressed and told my mom I wanted to go. I don’t know if she knew I was crying or not, but she suggested we go back to David’s Bridal, just because.
I was broken hearted and cranky, but obliged her and off we went. I walked through the racks and half-heartedly skimmed the gowns. I kept walking back to the dress that had caught my eye Monday. My mom noticed and pointed it out to me, saying “You love that dress, don’t you?” I shrugged, wondering if I’d ever find a dress. I picked it up and added it to the stack of other dresses I’d chosen to try on.
Dress after dress was shot down by my frown until I tried on the one that had caught my eye. Mom was in love with it. I was too caught up being depressed to notice how beautiful I looked in it. We took a couple pictures of it, so I could see myself though someone else’s eyes. My mom said a few times, “That’s the one.” Finally, I got over myself and agreed.
We ordered the dress in the right size and had it shipped to my office back in Texas. I never would have thought that I’d find a dress, much less a dress that everyone says is so fitting of my personality. My mother was by my side the whole time, telling me every chance she could just how beautiful I was.
When I told her I felt like I didn’t deserve a pretty wedding dress, she almost cried and told me all the reasons I did deserve one. She has always been strong for me. I am so grateful for my mother who loves me so much that she took me dress-shopping days after she lost her husband. She’s been there for me my whole life, and I’m happy I could finally be there for her. It made her so happy to see me in those dresses… I wish I were there now modeling dress after dress, just to see her smile.
Love you Mom.
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February 5th, 2009 at 2:19 am
Lacey, knowing your mother and what she’s been through, I think this was the best possible ‘call for action’ in the days following Richard’s passing. She loves you so much and I know how much joy this brought to her heart. You are blessed to have one another as she shared how much it meant to her to have you there with her for the entire week. I know you will look stunning….just don’t get BBQ on it when you eat your dinner! : )
Hugs from your Aunti Glo in Cyber Space
February 12th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
We loved your story. (We think you write well too.) Since we are all parents here, your tale has touched us all. Thank you for sharing your account. Your sentiment is very much appreciated and has been very well received.